It’s time for another #AskAMusicTherapist! Today’s question is about a standard in many, many music therapy sessions – why do we sing hello and goodbye songs?
“For me, it’s to provide a sense of structure within an un-structured session. So [the hello and goodbye song] are the structured things and then the rest is whatever the client wants.”
Hello and goodbye songs provide structure! Structure can be so important for many of the folks we support – and sometimes, the hello and goodbye song are the bookends in what is often a more improvisational session the rest of the time. The client knows that the session will begin and end with the same song each time, and within that structure they are able to explore more novel experiences in between, knowing that space has been made for them to do so. For many of our music therapists, sessions are client-led and using hello and goodbye songs help our clients and therapists create boundaries within that framework.
“I often use [goodbye songs] especially for littles as a music transition where they know this is the last thing we do and then we go home.”
Goodbye songs often help children understand it’s time to leave. They know that when Miss Dani starts singing the goodbye song, they need to put away their instruments or scarves or whatever they may have and pay attention as they close the session. Many goodbye songs have a more lullaby feel with the intention to help children regulate big feelings that might come up when their music time has come to an end, and to help bring down that energy level that may have gotten really high during the session. It’s a time for our clients to sit, listen, say goodbye and engage in those social interactions, and transition into whatever the next part of their day might be.
“I have quite a few folks who have indicated a desire for goodbye prematurely. I also have a few folks who ask for it right on time. I see it as a means for them to advocate for themselves.”
Goodbye songs often help children understand it’s time to leave and can encourage self-advocacy as some request it prematurely (or right on time!) to indicate they are ready to be done with music therapy. It’s their way of advocating for their wants and communicating those to us. Some kiddos will also try to stop us from singing the goodbye song, which is another way of self-advocacy in that they’re telling us “We don’t want to say goodbye!” The goodbye song provides an opportunity for us to work through those feelings of sadness and talk about how we can safely express those feelings both within and outside of music therapy.
“Some folks just like it! Maybe they needed it as some point for structure, but now they don’t need it, and they just enjoy it.”
This is another case of advocacy, where the client communicates that they want to sing the hello or goodbye song, even if it’s not something they utilize to address goals anymore.
“It also inserts some control over the session structure as well. They get to choose whether it happens.”
This choice gives participants a sense of control over the session and the ability to decide if they want to sing a hello or goodbye song. It also sets the stage for a session where they are in control and get to decide what they want to do in their music therapy session.
“If he starts misbehaving, I’ll start strumming the goodbye song. And he’ll stop and say, ‘No’, he wants the music. It’s kind of like a musical redirection and my way of nonverbally saying, ‘We’re gonna be done if you aren’t following directions.’”
Hello and goodbye songs can serve as tools for redirection, especially in regards to behavior management. Whether it’s starting the hello song so that the client comes and engages in music therapy, or starting the goodbye song when the client is displaying inappropriate behaviors so that the client knows those things won’t be tolerated, again they’re setting boundaries and structure for the session.
“I have a few folks who have goals that are really significantly tied to hello and goodbye, such as greetings. Especially for littles, making eye contact when they hear their name being called, waving goodbye, saying goodbye, forming those bilabial sounds, all that good stuff, can be targeted with hello and goodbye songs.”
Hello and goodbye songs serve as tools for redirection or behavior management, as well as support goals relating to social greetings, eye contact for social interaction, or speech development. And as a music therapist, it’s incredibly rewarding to watch someone transition from having a goal relating to looking at the music therapist when their name is said, to waving, to forming a “b” sound, to saying goodbye at the end of session.
“It can also be a good way to talk about feelings as well. I might restructure the song to ask how they’re feeling today. They’re a good introduction to emotional discussions.”
Hello songs offer opportunities for emotional discussions and allow us, as their music therapist, to gauge the mood of our client or clients and adjust our session plans accordingly.
“It helps take the temperature of the group a little bit and lets me adjust my plans based on the emotions expressed in the hello song.”
If we had planned for an active music-making activity, but our client comes in and tells us they’re tired or shares about something that happened during their day they need to process, we can adjust our plan accordingly and meet those needs in the moment. There’s also something safe within the structure of a hello song to say “I’m feeling sad” whereas a spoken “how are you?” might not elicit that same response. The hello song is a place where we can be fully honest about how we’re feeling, instead of falling into that cultural norm of saying “I’m fine” or “I’m good.”
Thank you to all our wonderful therapists for sharing their thoughts on the importance of hello and goodbye songs and talking about how they use hello and goodbye songs in sessions! Are there other benefits to these songs that we didn’t mention? Let us know in the comments, or tag us and share YOUR music therapy hello or goodbye song!
